Dangerosity
by XxSiMpLe-MiNdxX
Summary: Draco thinks he’s dangerous Hermione begs to differ. Can Draco prove her wrong or will a bet prove him wrong. Oneshot. R&R!


Summary: Draco thinks he's dangerous; Hermione begs to differ. Can Draco prove her wrong or will a bet prove him wrong.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

**Dangerosity**

"Okay, Girls like guys who are smart, willing, and experienced. They don't like guys who can't handle them selves or a dangerous situation…we want guys who can save us from a peril that's so dastardly that even Bat Man couldn't save himself from. Then we want our heroes to hug us to their chiseled chests and whisk us away into the sunset. _Sigh_. So romantic!"

Gurgle.

"Reminiscing about how we first met, Granger?"

"I wish!"

"That hurts right here love"

"Your hearts on the other side, _love_"

"No It's not, I'm right handed remember?"

_What?_

"What does that have to do with your heart being on your left side?

"Nothing."

"Are you stupid?"

"Are _you_?"

Glare.

"Exactly. Anyways, I don't think your audience could care less about your little theory. He's asleep."

Hermione looked down at her eleven-month-old son who had fallen asleep sometime through her theory speech.

_Oh great_

"I suppose your right, Draco. I'm just trying to teach our son that most women like their men to be, well…like Bat Man."

"You mean that cartoon character that jumps from building to building heeding the call of a light that shines in the sky with a bat in the middle?"

"Yes."

"Really Hermione you sure set your standards on low, don't you?"

"He's a hero!"

"So?"

"He's dangerous and heroic to his City!"

"Who cares?"

"You know Draco, _girls_ like guys who are valiant and dangerous."

"I'm dangerous."

"No you aren't."

"Yes I am!"

"Okay. Name one time you have been dangerous in the last week."

Silence

"I'm waiting…"

"Okay, fine! Yesterday I left the cap off the toothpaste and just last week I left the twisty-tie off the Wonder Bread, so there!"

Snort.

"Ha ha ha!"

"Well I married you didn't I? That's dangerous not only to my health but to my social life."

"Draco Malfoy!"

"Yes darling?"

"_Die!_"

"Now, now darling. Think of our daughter!"

"Draco, we do not have a daughter, we have a son!"

"We do?"

"Yes…"

"Oh. Wait we have a child? Since when?"

"Draco!"

"Really _love_, you shouldn't use my name in vain, it gives people a bad _impression_."

"Impression my ass"

"And such a lovely ass."

"That's it! I have had enough!"

Crash.

"Pity, that was my mother's favorite vase. You do realize that she will of course want revenge for that…"

"Oh, I'll show you revenge Draco Malfoy!"

Input girly scream and flee for life.

Giggle.

Snort.

Laugh.

"I'm glad my pain brings you amusement, you sadistic woman."

Snort.

"See, you are so _not_ dangerous."

"Yes I am!"

"Boo!"

Girly Scream.

"Ha ha, dangerous my ass-"

"Hey! Wait! Remember the bet!"

"What?"

"Remember the bet we made when our son was first born?"

"Oh, so _now_ you remember we have a son?"

"Answer my question Hermione…"

"No I don't remember Draco, but I know you will remind me"

"Damn right I will woman. When our son was about to be born you were screaming bloody murder and blaming me for the whole situation. When really I fail to see how that was my fault--"

"Draco, despite popular belief, I don't have all day."

"Right, right. Anyway we were screaming at each other and then you made a comment that the baby will probably say Mommy before he said Daddy."

"Is this going somewhere?"

"Yes. Now me being my competitive self, I bet that our son would say Daddy before he said Mommy. And you also being competitive, agreed to the bet."

"Okay, so what is the bet set at?"

"10 Dollars."

"That's it?"

"I was feeling cheap."

"Okay, I have a question."

"Shoot."

"What's your point?"

Silence.

"That making a bet is dangerous, so that makes _me_ dangerous! So there!"

"That's really pathetic Draco."

"If I'm pathetic then why did you marry me, hmm?

"Because I was hopelessly in love and obviously drunk."

"Obviously. Really Granger, that's getting old."

"Says who?"

"Says me, that's who."

"Well it's a good thing that I don't listen to you isn't it?"

Glare.

"Well how am I supposed to prove that I'm dangerous? Dress in a spandex suit and stalk through the shadows like that nitwit of a cartoon hero you were talking about? What was it again, Bat Boy?"

"Bat _Man_. And no, there isn't any way for you to prove that you're dangerous, Draco, because I know that you're not--"

"What?!"

"--but if you really want to dress in a spandex suit and stalk the shadows then be my guest, just let me get my camera it would make a great photo to show the grand children someday."

Glare.

"Or better yet, how about the _Daily Prophet_! I'm sure they would just love a picture of the richest man in the wizarding world wearing _spandex_."

"You wouldn't dare, _Granger_."

"Try me, _Malfoy_."

"Granger, I—

"da!"

"Wait, did you hear that?"

"What?"

"Da!"

"That! He's speaking!"

"Who's speaking?"

"Our son Draco!"

"Oh…"

"Da!"

"Did you hear that? He said mommy!"

"Granger, are you deaf or something? He said daddy!"

"Mommy!"

"Daddy!"

"Jerk!"

"Bookworm!"

"a-a-a"

"Wait, he's trying to say something"

"I'm not deaf Granger. Unlike you."

Glare.

"Its okay sweetie, say something."

"A-a-apple!"

"Apple?"

Gurgle. "Apple"

"Well…this is interesting."

"Aww, my baby said his first word. How cute! Good job sweetie!"

"But Granger, he didn't say mommy or daddy, he said…apple."

"Yeah, so?"

"Then that means no one won the bet…"

"Oh stop whining Draco. Our baby said his first word, we should be happy for him not worrying about some stupid bet."

"But-but that stupid bet proved that I'm dangerous!"

"Well if it makes you feel better Draco, I _do_ think you're dangerous."

"Really?"

"Yes. But if you leave the twisty tie off the wonder bread again, then I will be forced to take away your mirror."

"No!"

"Yes. I'm now leaving to go make lunch"

"Wait Granger, remember that other bet I made about-about…apples, yeah apples! Remember that? It was so bad and dangerous it made Mad Eye Moody in _underwear_ look good.

"Ewww! Whatever Draco"

"Fine, then I bet that our next child's first word will be daddy!"

Silence.

"It's a bet."

_**Fin**_

Authors Note: Hi! I know I should be updating my other story but I'm just too lazy…(aren't we all). Thanks to Alchemist's Dreamer for editing for me! You were a big help! R&R please!

XxSiMpLe-MiNdxX


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